Love is a strange word- it’s one that everyone uses but that doesn’t have a clear definition. We say that we love our friends, our pets, our favorite foods, and in some cases people who change the trajectory of our lives. Love is in the air everywhere, but nowhere at the same time. When I asked people what love means to them, the answers varied heavily from funny to cynical, hopeful to honest, and just flat out messy. This feels exactly right, as love can be all of these things at once. 

For many, true love lies in the idea of being known, or seen, without having to explain yourself. It’s being accepted with judgment. There’s something so powerful about knowing somebody can see your soul even when you can’t come up with the words to describe the feelings you are experiencing. Love can be quiet: when someone notices when your mood shifts- or knows exactly how someone wants something taken care of. Those small acts are easy to take for granted, but they’re often the most meaningful.

Others described love as a choice. Love is something that you wake up and recommit to every day–choosing someone good again and again, especially when it’s inconvenient and uncomfortable. This version of love isn’t always easy, and sometimes its honesty, boundaries, and standing by someone even when things get hard. It’s caring about another person’s life as much, if not more than your life. Not in an “you’re more important than me” way, but in an “we can get through this together” way. 

Obviously, not everyone is convinced that soulmates are a thing- or that love exists altogether. Some people mentioned that they’re skeptical of long-lasting love, that it can feel as fictional as Santa Claus or something you only see in the movies. This doubt makes sense, and it can be painful. It can get to the point where you keep someone around just so that you don’t have to confront the idea of being alone. It can be really magical, but also really hurtful. Still, even the skeptics agreed that humans need love. Whether or not it lasts for life, each act of love matters.

Love also isn’t limited to romantic relationships. People talked about friends who felt like a safe place, the ones you look for in every room, the ones who make even the darkest days bright. There’s love in trust and respect, in knowing someone will stick by you. There’s love in pets who snuggle up with you after a hard day. Love doesn’t always have a voice, sometimes it’s just there. 

One of the most riveting ideas was that love is about seeing the good in the bad. The beauty in flawed things. Loving someone no matter if they are “perfect” or not. It’s liking someone even after they get a questionable haircut. It’s love based on what you feel everyday, not based on a fantasy that you wish was reality. Real love is willing to bend expectations. 

Overall, love doesn’t fit into one category or definition. It can feel as warm as sunshine, or like a punch that takes your breath away. It can come slowly or all at once. Some days in love are easier than others. Love can be found in big moments or tiny ones, like remembering someone’s favorite snack.

Maybe love doesn’t have one clear definition. Maybe it’s everything that makes us feel connected. Love is messy, imperfect, and painful. But it’s still worth choosing.